This month is going to be like none other before. i will be pushing myself harder than i have in a long time. i have been focusing on being a happy and complete person. And i really have done well considering what i have been through...but i've hit a rut. For the last several weeks, i have had no forward movement and i feel myself slipping into a state of simply surviving instead of enjoying life. To me, that is unacceptable. i need to keep moving forward. As i contemplated my rut, several things moved me into motion:
1- i finished reading Gretchen Ruben's "The Happiness Project." The more i read her book, the more i wanted to make improvements in my life, to set goals, and to reach those goals. She gave me ideas on what strategies to implement in order to achieve personal happiness. Sometimes i found it hard to sit and read...i instantly found myself wanting to get up and start doing something to improve my myself.
2- On a beautiful blog, i read these inspiring words:
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.
As Keith said, if i want something different, i need to DO something different.
3- The final push...A dear friend contacted me and she had been feeling similar about her own life (although for completely different reasons). She challenged me to join her in a next to impossible task that would get both of us out of our comfort zones and hopefully help us to feel a bit more...accomplished...and proud of the month of May.
So...this month i am focusing on ME! i have a long list of *intense* goals that i have set for myself with the intent to help me be confident in myself, be content with my life and be confident in the presence of my God. Most of these goals i will keep to myself...for now, at least.
But the "impossible task" from my friend, i fear that i must make public so that i have to account for it at the end of May. Since i am a proud person, it would hurt my pride to announce what i will accomplish and not finish. Therefore, without further ado...in the month of May, i solemnly commit to:
Write a novel.
That's right. By the end of this month i will have written a 50,000 word literary masterpiece. Ok...so it might not be a masterpiece, but at least it will be written. i have no clue what is going to come spewing forth when my fingers hit the keys tomorrow...but i will start and i have a premonition that the words, whatever they may be, will be healing for me.
Ambitious or irrational?
Perhaps irrationally ambitious?
Either way...here i go. Wish me luck!