27 April 2012

So many books, so little time

At the moment, i find myself balanced in that awkward "in-between-books" stage...the one where i look at my ridiculously long "to-read" list and hear all the suggestions of friends and family and begin to break into a sweat trying to decide what book to pick up next. Do i indulge and re-read one of my favorites? Do i try to read a classic i have neglected? Do i tinker with some silly young adult fantasy series? Do i try and stay up to date on the latest in literature?

Although i have yet to pick the specific book, i have composed a list of 12 books never before read by me from which i will read until i have checked them all off. A large part of me is ashamed to admit that i have never read some of this literature; several i have started (even mulitple times) but never completed. i feel confused and overwhelmed at where to begin. Mostly, i am just thrilled at the delicious choices!

Fountainhead- Ayn Rand
Heart of Darkness- Joseph Conrad
Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin
War and Peace- Leo Tolstoy
On the Road- Jack Kerouac
The Brothers Karamozov- Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Jesus the Christ- James Talmage
Don Quixote- Miguel de Cervantes
Mistborn: The Alloy of Law- Brandon Sanderson
Madame Bovary- Gustave Flaubert
Uglies Series- Scott Westerfeld
On the Origin of Species- Charles Darwin

Suggestions on where to begin? (i request at the moment that you not give me more book ideas as this may cause me to quit my job, leave my church, neglect my home and my husband, lock myself in the back bedroom and subsist solely by feasting on the words of good literature.)

17 April 2012

It's been too long since you've cleaned your bathroom if...

This Saturday was an insanely busy day at my house…one of those days where I felt like I was running in circles to get everything done and still failing. At some point in the day Jacob stepped into the guest bathroom where I was scrubbing the bathtub, looked quizzically at me and the following conversation ensued:

Jacob: Why are you cleaning the guest bathtub?

Me: I don’t understand your question.

Jacob: No one used this bathroom this week and you are super busy. Why are you taking the time to clean it?

Me: Because it’s Saturday.

Jacob: I don’t understand your answer.

Me: It’s just something that IS. On Saturdays, you clean the bathrooms. That’s just the way it is. It’s like breathing. You don’t think about breathing. You don’t question breathing. You don’t feel like breathing isn’t necessary. You just do it. It’s the same with Saturdays...you just clean the bathrooms, whether they have been used or not.

Jacob: …(stunned silence)…

After this exchange I began to think that maybe not everyone cleans their bathrooms on Saturday...or regularly for that matter. I remembered an article I had read listing the 10 dirtiest parts of most people’s houses (which may or may not have induced an 8 hour cleaning spree in my own house). One of the places listed was the bathtub. REALLY? Letting the soap from your body run down into the bath while you shower does NOT count as cleaning! Apparently there are people who are unaware of when they should clean. In case you are one of them, here are Jennifer’s foolproof guidelines for when to clean your bathroom.

You should clean your bathroom if:

*There is more hair on the floor than on your head.
*You leave the shower feeling dirtier than when you got in.
*You can no longer tell the color of the porcelain.
*There is mold. Period. There should never be mold. Ever. Kill it.
*The counter is no longer visible underneath all the curling irons, hair bands, bobby pins and makeup scattered around.
*You feel like you should wipe the toilet seat before sitting down.
*You stick to the wall if you accidentally brush against it because of the coating of hairspray.
*You have to rub your fist against the mirror to get a clean spot…and it’s not even steamy in the room.
*You feel the need to apologize before someone uses your restroom.
*Your child has peed or shat in the bathtub. Just rinsing it down the drain does NOT count.
*You walk into a Walmart bathroom and feel right at home.
*The thing growing between the toilet and the wall has started giggling every time you step out of the shower.
*It’s been more than a week.

(Please note that even if only ONE of these statements is true, your bathroom probably needs to be cleaned. If all of the above are true, you should consider condemning your bathroom until an exorcist can expel the evil that exists therein).