04 October 2012

"But I miss you most of all, my darling, when Autumn leaves start to fall"

Forgive me one more emotional/slightly depressing post, but I have to throw this out there.

I love Autumn. Something about it speaks to my soul: the colors, smells, food, weather. Crunching leaves, baking, wearing scarves and sweaters.

I met Jake in the fall (8 years ago this month). It seemed fitting.

Last night I had a very vivid dream that Jake and I were yelling at each other. As I drifted awake, I didn't know where I was or why Jake wasn't next to me. I remembered I was at Erika's without Jake. Literally reaching for my phone, I groggily thought, "I need to call him and tell him I love him." Then it hit me all of the sudden. I am not here on vacation. Jake is divorcing me. That feeling of wanting to say "I love you" and despair at realizing I can't anymore lingers...

I miss you. Especially in the fall.
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