12 June 2013

Rewrite this story

Just when i begin feeling confident that the hardest is over, i enter a different stage in my grieving/recovery process and all the stability i felt like i had explodes. This time might be the hardest yet. Nothing happened, really, except i realized how very alone i am-- and how much i hate it. And the emotional rollercoaster ride continues.

As i have been going back and editing my novel, i tend to slip into a layer of self pity; it's hard to see what i had (or thought i had), let alone imagine what i could have had (or think i could have had). i grieve that this is the story of my life so far.

Then i heard this song. i bought it right away and it has been on replay either on my phone or in my mind for the last 48 hours.

Here are the lyrics to the chorus:

"Someone tell me when
I can start again,
And rewrite this story.
How long can I stay
Lost without a way to rewrite?
I wish I could rewrite this story.
---
Change every word of every line;
Write any story but mine.
---
Someone tell me when
Can I start again
And rewrite this story.
How long can I stay
Lost without a way to rewrite?
Rewrite,
I wish I could rewrite this story."

Pity party is over-- I promise. More of my story (which i cannot rewrite and i am coming to accept that) to come in the next two days...
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