03 August 2011

Do spiders die when you suck them up in the vacuum?

They’d better! And even if they don’t, please tell me that they are dead. Because I vacuumed up three of them yesterday evening. And now I’m terrified they will emerge.

I find all of this somewhat amusing as I am not even afraid of spiders. Sure, I’ll scream if one catches me off guard (for example, when I find them in my bed or that time I realized I was showering with one) and their sticky webs gross me out. But usually I can grab a tissue, squish the spider and get rid of it without drama. In fact, if I see the webs in my living space, I will deep clean them, even if it means leaving the spiders homeless and thus causing them to wander around the house. When I was in Chile, I moved into one apartment that had complexes of webs under the stairs. On my first cleaning day there, I attacked with a vengeance. For the next week we found spiders crawling all over the house. My companion said she had never seen any until I destroyed their living space. It was worth it; I couldn’t stand knowing they were there.

These three, however, looked extra threatening. As I stood there with my tissue, preparing to squish them, I could not force my hand to reach out and grab their hairy little bodies. I imagined their little beady eyes glaring at me and their bodies crunching under my fingers. Or worse, somehow not crunching them enough and having them run crawling up my arm and into my hair. I was paralyzed.

I finally narrowed my options down to the following:
1- Ignore them until Jacob gets home on Friday.
2- Call my neighbor over to kill the spiders.
3- Spray them with bleach (which would run down the wall onto my carpet and I wasn’t sure it would kill them anyway).
4- Spend 45 mins to go into town and buy Raid.
5- Squish them with a shoe and then have to clean spider guts off the walls.
6- Vacuum them up.

Perhaps there were more options, but at the moment, that’s all my brain processed. Since I couldn’t stand to let them live and found it too humiliating to ask for help, the vacuum seemed like the easiest way to kill them. So I used it. Then came the nightmares. Last night as I slept, I saw them coming out of the vacuum cleaner, revengeful, to hunt me down for destroying their webs. So, please assure me that they are undoubtedly dead. I am feeling a disturbing affinity to Ronald Weasley that I’d rather avoid. (I’d much prefer relating to Fred and George, thank you very much!)

Wish I still had the courage as I did as a little girl to belt out the song my mother taught me:
We are the spider fighters! We use our flash-a-lighters. We track them all around. We trap them to the ground. We pull off all their legs, and gather all their eggs. We get a great big bunch. They make a dandy lunch. Crunch, Crunch!

9 comments:

Katie C. said...

I like to think that if I capture spiders in the bag of my vaccuum cleaner that they die in there. No chance for survival. I'm also telling myself lately that if there are flies all around my house that they will eventually die because I keep it clean enough that there isn't anything to live off.

Stephanie Wadsworth said...

this is funny. especially because I woke up screaming - actually, Tanner woke me up because I was screaming. I had a dream about you + I walking through a garage + spiders were falling so heavily from the ceiling that they were going into our clothes + piling up under there.....sick. I think vacuuming them up is an excellent solution to kill them dead.

Jake and Katie Schwabedissen said...

I sure hope that they do. I had never considered the alternative. Oh goodness gracious! I do have to say that if I can't sleep tonight because I'm dreaming Stephanie's frightening nightmare I'll go crazy. Spiders are so gross! I always try to compare them to myself in size by telling myself that they probably think I am a huge evil giant and it is my job to squish them because they are smaller than my toe. (If they're not smaller than my biggest toe - that is when I run for help.)

7aura7 said...

Haha! Next time, go for the shoe and guts on the wall.

I've worried about them coming after me out of the vacuum too. I would hope that they need oxygen, and that oxygen can't exist in a vacuum... is that true? I don't know this for sure, because the merest mention of physics and chemistry makes me run screaming. Kinda like spiders. Hmmm.

We have had so many spiders this year that I actually called for a quote from an exterminator business that comes and sprays your property every month in the summer. 300 bucks Can you believe it? The fact that I considered it for a minute is a testament to my deep hatred of spiders.

Love the spider hunter song :)

Pictionarist said...

I think a Dyson would liquidate them. A Kirby might ground them up. Some of the smaller Hoovers might just trap them for starvation. A dustbuster probably just tickles them under 7 of the 8 arms.

Anonymous said...

They love the stuff in the bag and can triple in size in 2 days!

bugbee said...

I in fact know the answer to this. I have a bag less vacuum and suck up spiders all the time, until yesterday. I pulled it out and saw not one, not two, but THREE spiders crawling around inside the vacuum cleaner!!! Just hanging out, setting up camp, becoming BFF's... Probably getting ready to lay eggs and emerge from the vacuum and take over my house. I keep pulling the vacuum out every hour or so and , yep, they are still trucking along. And yes, any normal person would just empty it into the garbage. But I'm a complete arachnophobia and am terrified to do it. So yes, they don't die. At least not with the bag less vacuums.

Unknown said...

How i heard it is...

We are the spider fighters
We us our flash a lighters
We track them to the ground
We squish there guts around
We grab them by their legs
We gather all their eggs
They make a dandy lunch
Crunch crunch crunch

Anonymous said...

Don´t afraid. Spider and other insects don´t come out from vacuum.
Last year my aunt spend a day for spider killing in her garage. there was so many big hairy spiders on the Ceiling and cobwebs. She also used her vacuum cleaner. If she sucked the spiders up, the vacuum made funny noises - "Fluppp shluurp"!
outside the garage she catched many grasshoppers and cluster of daddy long leggs. after vacuuming my aunt and I checked the full dust bag. the suction was too strong ... between the dust we found chopped spiders and other insects...