Co-worker: So.......would you ever consider going a date with a black guy...that's still in school...that's also in the military...and has no car?
Me: On a scale of 1-10....how hot is he?
Obviously, when it comes to serious dating i really am looking for someone with more than good looks. In fact this conversation prompted me to make a list of deal-breakers. If a guy meets even one of the descriptions on this list, they are automatically disqualified. Here goes :)
Deal-Breakers
- He wears a backwards baseball cap
- He has/had/considers having a mustache
- He uses the word "yo"...and he's not just messing around
- He tucks his wranglers into his boots
- He drives a truck with a monster sticker on it
- He pulls up to my house and honks
- He has a baby momma
- His goal in life is "to be the best drummer i can possibly be"
- He thinks that Little Caesar's pizza is it's own food group
- He uses the words "sexy" and "tractor" in the same sentence
- He lives with his parents
- The phrase "Baby got back" came out of his mouth
- He has a name like Rykker, Hummer, Traylyn or Moroni
- He asks me out via text message
- He owns a pair of candy colored skinny jeans
- He spends his weekends playing Halo
- When i am talking about Charles Dickens he says "Who?"
- He asks "Do you know how many calories are in that hamburger??"
- His favorite movie is "Anchorman"
- He spends more time in the tanning bed than Lindsey Lohan
- He thinks flushing twice constitutes cleaning the toilet
- He thinks "guestimate" "ginormous" are real words
- He puts a hashtag in front of anything
- His favorite band is LMFAO
- His favorite topic of conversation is his gun collection
- He drives a rice rocket
- He doesn't know what he is going to do "when he grows up"
- He knows what he wants to do when he grows up, but he hasn't started yet (the growing up OR the working toward what he wants to do)
- He has a last name like "Dungworth" or "Fagg" or "Hiscock"
- He says "I received a revelation about our relationship..."
- He has an STD
4 comments:
I love that my husband wears his hat backwards! Different strokes.
What's a good indicator of possessiveness? Memorizes your schedule? Informing you that you can't do something? Red flag!
Haha. I was thinking more the punks that sag their pants, wear baggy shirts, backwards hats and long chain necklaces. Your spouse always looks good--even when he had long hair :)
Wow. You've really thought this through! I can't wait to find out how your love story unfolds. Blessings! :)
First off, Guesstimate is a real word, but you spelled it wrong, (http://oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/guesstimate)
Secondly, I am sad to say texting is actually a legitimate form of communication that I have used to ask people out. Its not preferred, but sometimes the other methods aren't as functional. (A lot of this has to do with uncertain schedules and flexibility in responding.) Not ideal for a first date or an un-established line of communication.
Most of the rest I am on board with, especially the backwards hat thing.
I would add; Childishly laughs when you mention Charles Dickens, refuses to eat anything that is A) not organic, B) Had a heart, or alternatively C) Never had a heart.
One of my (theoretical) deal breakers is if I don't feel comfortable watching "Arrested Development" with them. If that came up, I'd have some serious thinking to do.
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