To B or Not to B

He asked me.

i said yes.

The future Mr and Mrs B

Because i don't care for Valentine's Day either

Please, go read this.

PLEASE???

Then come back and tell me what you think.

It's everything that is in my soul that i would want to say, but do not have the eloquence to do it.


If my begging isn't enough to convince you, here are my favorite tid-bits:


'Don’t believe the lie that a person will complete you. A person can never complete you. They will add onto you. They will show you reality. They will push you out of your comfort zone but they will never complete you. If you are looking for completion in the form of two blue eyes, it isn’t waiting for you there. Go look elsewhere.'

'Before you can be sure of another person you must be sure of yourself. I cannot say this enough. You must be willing to bet on yourself. This does not mean you have to be perfect or anywhere near it. You can always be better, but are you enough? There’s a difference between being better and being enough.'


'The one is just a person, like you. They will be imperfect and salty. They will let you down and forget important dates. They will burn the toast and they will sing out of tune sometimes. The one is just a person in your life who gets your extra portions of grace. The one is just a person who gets the majority of your texts, tears, and prayers. They pick you. You pick them.'

And my favorite of all:

So if you want a damn adventure then you must pack the bag and go. Buy your own coffee. Make your own playlists. Plan your own road trips. See the things you want to see just for the simple fact that they matter enough to you. A match on Tinder will not live your dreams for you.
(Hannah Brencher)

i believe this with all of my heart. This was me a year ago, celebrating "Valentine's Day" on my own adventure:

Convinced yet? Go read it. The whole thing is amazing!

In spite of the groundhog

Winter persists.

i honestly do not mind the cold, the snow, the icicles. For the most part, the sun still shines in Rexburg (even when it is brutally cold) and that is the most important thing for me. i don't know how this winter compares with winters past as far as snowfall or record breaking cold days.

What i do know is that it takes 5.5 laps around the indoor track to complete only 1 mile. And i am running a lot of miles. And it is too cold and icy for me to run outside.

Which means that i am ready for spring.

Fortunately, business has taken me twice already this year to St. George for a number of days each time. Next week i am headed back again.

On my first trip there, i ran 30 miles. On my second (which was a couple days shorter) i ran 20 miles. Fifty AMAZING, outdoor, beautiful miles in January.

On one of my runs, i counted 6 cute little rabbits bouncing around. Luckily, i haven't run into any snakes, although i have returned with my shoes completely full of soft red sand.

 

i have found a mix of paved paths, gravel roads and trails...all with no vehicular traffic. 

My favorite runs have been through the lovely Snow Canyon. 

Only 66 more days until my first marathon of the year. Training is much easier with views like these.

i know that it gets ridiculously hot there in the summer, but for now, i will soak up all the rays, rocks and running weather that i can while i can. i will also continue to stop mid-run to take pictures because the beauty is breathtaking to me.

Cross Country Skiing

Mr B is an advanced cross country skier. Last winter, when we first started dating, we talked about going skiing together, but it never happened. We were determined not to go through another winter without me giving it a go.

And i am SO glad. Just like trail running, it perfectly combined my love of running with Mr B's love of the outdoors...and our joint love of enjoying the beauty of Idaho/Wyoming.

Over the Christmas break we took three ski trips to three different locations. My little brother joined us for the first two trips.

The first trip was up Teton Canyon. It was snowing like crazy. We bundled up and Mr B taught Ian and i the basics. It took us a bit to get the hang of it (especially in the snow that made the tracks fairly undefined) and we were tired at the end, but the view was lovely and we enjoyed it.

Me and Ian skiing through the snowstorm

Mr B, Me and Ian covered in snow

Me heading back down the canyon

Me and Ian getting the hang of things

Me "Am i doing this right?"

On our second outing, the weather was much more favorable. We went up around the Island Park Dam. It was overcast and lightly snowing, but warmer and we weren't getting wet at all. i especially enjoyed the scenery on our jaunt as we followed the river and saw large amounts of swans swimming away.

About to start our adventure

Mr B leads the way

Over the river and through the woods

i can't believe that was real

Having too much fun to want to go home

Winter wonderland

The Saturday after Christmas it was -14 degrees Fahrenheit and i woke up with horrible stomach cramps. So, i did the only sensible thing...went on an 8 mile cross country ski trip with Mr B around Harriman State Park. Ian opted to stay home in the warmth.

It was actually invigorating to be out and about it the cold cold clear day. i found i preferred it to the warmer weather with the snow. And i was honestly shocked that i could work up a sweat in weather that cold. Besides, the cold kept people away and we were lone skiers.

Trust me, it was colder than it looks

Stopped in warming hut: Icicles forming everywhere (even in the eyelashes)

Smiling...even if you can't tell

Hurrah for winter adventures! And long underwear. And hot chocolate, fuzzy blankets and snuggling afterwards :)

"What wonderful thing didn't start out scary?" Isaac Marion

Mr B and i have been dating for just over a year. 

It has been a slow, building, challenging, lovely, scary, exciting year of starting a relationship. And really, all we have done is lay the foundation. We still haven't decided whether or not to build a family on that foundation. But i have learned so much about myself, about love and about healthy relationships in the year we have had together.

"People talk so much about some ideal perfect love that is effortless and easy; a love that you just 'fall into.' Well in my opinion, that's just a bunch of bologna and not realistic at all. TRUE love takes a lot of hard work! It's not about falling into it, it's about BUILDING IT UP." 

-Jacy Boyack

i have said time and again on this blog, in my journal and in my conversations that i do NOT want a fairy tale. i want reality. i think during this past year i realized what it is that i want. i want a true, stable, firm, immovable love. Not infatuation. Something that isn't felt; something that is built and created and nurtured. Something that is a daily decision.

"People have defined love in their heads as a feeling...This 'burning felling' of love, though, is infatuation, and infatuation does not last. Infatuation is not love. Infatuation is immature. It's easy. It doesn't require anything of you. Love requires everything of you. Love requires sacrifice and work and diligence and faithfulness. It is not an easy emotion." 

-Scott Braithwaite

It is a scary business, love. It is vulnerable. It is being real and raw and emotionally naked. There are no guarantees. Which means, i could get hurt.

"Loving someone is a process. Whether that's God, or that's another sticky human, it's a process. The movies will say it's something different but--no matter how instant that first draw to someone is--love is a building process. It's doors unlocking. It's windows breaking. It's the discovery of new rooms inside of yourself. It's the dark. And it's the light. And it's dark and light all scrambled into one. At the root of it, it's a slow, trusting, building process that starts with letting someone in." 

-Hannah Brencher

i don't know what the future brings. i don't know how long Mr B will be in my life. There are so many factors out of my control (and many out of his) that it would be impossible to surmise. But i do have control of me and my actions. And i am choosing to continue to invest in, work toward, and build up a relationship with this amazing man. 

"True love is not something you fall in, but grow in. It is not happenstance as much as something you control, choose and act upon." 

-Lynn G Robbins

Each day i feel myself pulled out of my comfort zone. Isn't that where we grow and become better people? i want someone who will stretch me to be better and work harder and fly higher.

"People don't fall in love; you pick someone with whom you can create the love you desire." 

-Susan Bednar

i'm glad Mr B is in my life. Right now, i pick him.

Twenty-15

In twenty-15:

i read 64 books. i ran my first full marathon (then  ran two more after that). i hiked 98 miles. i buried my little parakeet. i rode a camel through Petra, Jordan. i fell in love with family history. i watched a meteor shower, several thunderstorms and an eclipse. i became the Aunt of a wonderful new nephew. i took a three day backpacking trip through back country Yellowstone. i spoke at a coworker’s funeral. i visited Cedar Breaks National Monument. i lost both of my big toenails. i learned how to make red velvet cake. i started a new journal. i visited my ancestor’s graves (back four generations).

i made Thanksgiving dinner for my dad. i floated in the Dead Sea. i watched or listened to almost every single BYU Football game. i made and canned choke cherry syrup, pear jam and applesauce. i saw 40 different waterfalls. i became a Brene Brown fanatic.  i helped plant a garden. i attended devotional at BYU-Idaho almost every Tuesday. i ran 6 half marathons. i wandered over and under the streets of Jerusalem. i attended an outdoor symphony production of “Fantasia.” i didn’t buy a single pair of stilettos. i memorized the serenity prayer. i hired and trained 15 employees.

i took family names all the way through the temple. i went kayaking for the first time. i facilitated a 12-Step Women's Trauma Recovery group. i soaked in a natural hot spring in the middle of the night in the middle of back country Yellowstone with the full blue moon above me. i painted my nails almost every single week. i spent a day hiking through Bryce Canyon. i attended General Conference for the first time. i kissed a man with a mustache. i chaired two “youth culture” events for the International Dance and Music Festival. i prayed on the shores of the Sea of Galilee.  i picked boxes and boxes of apples.  i ran 250 racing miles this season. i started teaching a Sunday School class. i cut down my own Christmas tree.

i turned 30 years old.  i talked to my niece on FaceTime at least 3 times a week. i rarely missed a week of attending the temple. i went scuba diving in the Red Sea.  i developed a relationship with an amazing man (outcome TBD). i got a goldfish for my office. i trail ran around Jenny Lake in Teton National Park.  i spent two weeks in the middle east. i finished reading the Bible from cover to cover. i did yoga on the top of the double O Arch in Moab, Utah. i reorganized my entire bookcase by color. i paid off my Mini Cooper. i fell during a night run and turned both of my legs black and blue with bruises. i went cross country skiing in -14 degree weather.

i wrote 49 blog posts.  i drank tea in front of a fire at a Bedouin camp in the middle of the Wadi Rum, Jordan. i danced in the rain. i grew infinitely more patient. i ran three ultra relays (upwards of 35 miles each time). i got addicted to the Strawberry Starburst Freeze at Taco Bell. i watched my parents go through a divorce. i took way too many selfies. i hit my seven year anniversary of working for the Salt Lake Express. i raced in 4 different states.  i propagated almost all of my houseplants. i fought off IT band tendinitis as well as shin splints. i became known for my intricate braids.

Ok, twenty-16, let's see what you've got. Bring it on. Let's do this.

See you on the flip side.

Thanksgiving

Now that Christmas is over...i guess i should post about Thanksgiving!

It was just me and my dad, but i did NOT skimp on the amount of food. We had a full feast.

Prepping the turkey

Berry Apple Pie

The Spread

 While my dad was there, we put up Christmas lights on my apartment, went and cut down my Christmas tree and made wreaths for my porch and for Mr. B's door.

We found it!

Pretty tree

My boss let me drive his *ridiculous* truck to haul my tree

Wreath for my back porch with tree leftovers

Decorated Tree

Homemade book page ornaments

Mr B's festive door

See my "book tree?"