Because all of the frogs i've kissed are still frogs

i discovered that when you kiss a camel:

He turns into a bedouin:

And then the word got out among the herd that i was a good kisser and this happened:

i love camels.

And then i got to ride one ::huge grin::

Happiness is riding a camel.

O Jerusalem

i got to spend 6 days of my trip in "The Holy Land" that is now Israel. The majority of that time was spent in Jerusalem (and more specifically, the Old City). It was surreal to walk through the streets of this city that has been around for thousands of years. A city that has been destroyed and rebuilt a handful of times, been besieged, attacked, captured and recaptured. It is a Holy Land for so many different religions. Prophets and Kings walked her streets. Her name is mentioned in scriptures of Christians, Jews and Muslims. 

Jerusalem as seen from the Mount of Olives

My first glimpse looking over Jerusalem

From the ramparts of the southern section of the city wall

i also felt the pull of my blood and religious roots to the city. My ancestors, even Abraham and Isaac, walked this land. King David built his city here. Solomon constructed the temple that is at the roots of my temple worship today.

The Western Wall

Standing in the ancient "City of David"

The Damascus Gate

Dome of the Rock

Me standing on Temple Mount looking toward the Mount of Olives

 i learned the history as i walked the streets above (and through tunnels below the streets). i witnessed the conflict of the persons living there. i felt the tension surrounding the city.

In the "Western Wall Tunnels" touching the original wall from the Second Temple Period

Wandering the neighborhood streets

The Old City Souks at night as seen from above

From the Southern Ramparts

Chasing the sun in the Old City

Deserted market in the early morning hours

Vendors in the streets of the old city

Looking across Jerusalem from the Northern Ramparts

Walking the streets

i am still amazed that i stood in front of places that i have seen pictures of for years.

Listening to the call to prayer echoing over Jerusalem

In front of the Dome of the Rock

i was really there!

It's all up from here

Last week i was in the lowest place on Earth.

i visited the Dead Sea from the Israeli side:

And i got to swim float in it from the Jordanian side:

Floating there was a feeling i can't describe. i kept laughing out loud every time my feet popped up to the surface. My favorite was walking along the ocean floor. Then i would realize that my feet weren't touching the floor anymore, but i was still bouncing along as if they were. 

After an hour bobbing on the top of the salty water, i left feeling silky smooth and completely relaxed. Healing powers indeed.

Life Savers

Linking up with Modern Mrs Darcy to share the things that are saving my life right now in the middle of the dreary winter months.

1- My new blanket. Not one day has passed since i received this blanket that i haven't snuggled in it at least once. Some nights it has even come to bed with me. It's so soft and fluffy!

2- Meal exchanges i have three single girl friends who invited me to join them in meal rotations. At the beginning of the week, we all make one meal, then we get together and exchange a serving of our meal. In other words, i cook once at the beginning of the week and then (instead of eating the same leftovers for the rest of the week) i have four homemade and different delicious meals. i have eaten infinitely less fast food since doing this!

3- Being able to run indoors When the snow comes down and the sidewalks turn to ice, and the wind blows to the point of insanely cold...

...i am grateful for an indoor track that enables me to keep my miles up and still receive a shot of feel good running endorphins.

4- Being able to run outdoors Once in awhile the weather has cooperated enough to let me pound the pavement outside. It's still usually close to obscenely cold (my 21 miler on Saturday peeked at 24 degrees) but it reminds me why i love to run and i get to enjoy the beauty of the winter around me.

Plus, i will take any break from laps.

5- Books i read 11 books in January and finished my 12th yesterday. (Find me on goodreads to see what i'm reading).

6- This post-it reminder stuck to my work computer screen:

7- My indoor plants In my office i have a dracena, sansevieria, three poinsettias, a succulent garden, two aloe vera, a donkey tail, an unidentified vine (i don't know how to figure out what it is) a philodendron and a homalomena.

At home i have a diffenbachia, philodendron, two spider plants, two pothos, an aloe vera, a monstera deliciousa and another unidentified vine. Want to be my best friend? Propagate a new plant for me :)

8- Planning my trip overseas i leave in 9 days and will be gone for 2 weeks!!

9- My newly organized bookshelves 

10- Pictures of my niece

Serene

"Peace is the result 

of retraining your mind 

to process life as it is, 

rather than as you think it should be."

-Wayne W. Dyer

Dear Daughter

If i had a daughter, i would teach her:

*Don't settle. Ever. For anyone.
*Be brave.
*You are braver than you believe.
*Read copiously.
*Your beauty comes from deep within you.
*Don't buy off-brand toilet paper or trash bags.
*Wear sunscreen.
*When someone compliments you, look them in the eye and say "Thank you! I appreciate that!"
*Travel.
*Trust your gut.
*Don't be afraid to leave the house without makeup.
*Don't leave the house without makeup on a daily basis.
*People will remember how you make them feel.
*Learn how to say "No."
*Pay attention to the little things that make you smile.
*Make a bucket list.
*Do the things on your bucket list.
*Feel your feelings.
*Learn how to set and keep boundaries.
*Two words: menstrual cup.
*Always wear great shoes.
*Nothing that anyone else says or does can change your worth.
*Nothing that you do or say can change your worth.
*Listen to a huge variety of good music.
*You are responsible for your own happiness.
*Order a cheeseburger on a first date if you want to.
*Don't make Ariel your role model.
*Be passionate.
*Marriage won't fix your problems.
*Neither will having children.
*Don't bite your nails.
*It's ok to cry.
*You can tell me anything.
*Even if you are tall, wear the damn heels.
*Dance in the rain.
*Learn how to be a good gift giver.
*Love yourself.
*Learn how to cook and clean.
*Know when to order a pizza and leave the dirty laundry on the floor.
*Find a man who has more balls than you do.
*There are few things in life that candles, good music and a hot bath can't fix.
*Let go and let God.
*Be classy.
*Know when it's alright to temporarily throw classy out of the window.
*It's ok if someone doesn't like you.
*Learn how to pee outside.
*Don't just Facebook your life--live it.
*You can do hard things.
*You are stronger than you seem.
*Everything is going to be ok.

What would you teach your daughters?

It IS cheating

In the after effects of being married to a sex addict, i searched out support groups for those in relationships like mine. i found S-ANON (Hope and Help for Family and Friends of Sexaholics) as well as amazing people through blogs, and the Togetherness Project and Camb Scabs. Now i have so many relationships with all of these beautiful supportive women in various stages of "Recovery" (recovering from the affects of living with a sex addict and the codependency and shame that develops). 

With these women, i have been able to share my story. And i have heard their stories. Stories of pain and betrayal and hope and recovery. The more i have heard, the more i realize how many people are struggling with addiction or struggling through a relationship with someone who is addicted.

Many conversations have happened now with friends outside of my recovery groups asking questions about what i have learned. The two questions i hear the most are:

"Wait, porn addiction is the same thing as sex addiction?"
and
"Do you really think looking at porn is cheating?"

My answers are yes and YES!!

We all know how prevalent pornography is. Those in the industry (and those consuming it) would like to make society believe that looking is normal and that it isn't cheating on your partner to watch.

Let me speak as the voice of a group of women who KNOW from experience (many of us having experienced both) that porn and cheating hurt the same. It is betrayal and it is infidelity whether it is a video, sexting, a strip club or an actual body.

Someone asked me once to explain HOW porn is cheating. i couldn't ever figure out how to explain it more than "it hurts the same." Then i found this article on the blog for Fight the New Drug. Please read it. It isn't very long and it explains so simply and so perfectly WHY pornography is cheating. (And then, if you want to learn about porn addiction being the same thing as a sex addiction, check out their incredible facts page).

My favorite paragraph from the post says:

"...When someone is viewing porn a hormone is released in their brain called oxytocin. Oxytocin is known to increase feelings of attachment, connection, and trust. Studies show that couples in a healthy and well-adjusted relationship exhibit much higher levels of oxytocin than those in a distressed relationship. Because the hormone is naturally released during sex, watching porn triggers the release of oxytocin as well, effectively bonding the person to that experience. Over time, the bond becomes stronger and stronger until it seems unbreakable.

So call us crazy, but when you are sexually bonding to something other than your partner, we would consider that cheating."

 i am grateful to people like Fight the New Drug, who aren't afraid to get the facts out there.